Helen Sands Blog

Sleep Training Misconceptions

I would love to clear up some misconceptions about exactly what sleep training using my methods will mean.
I receive many questions every month and would love to provide clear, concise answers to put everyone’s mind at ease!

Will my baby be hungry in the night?
I am definitely an advocate of a softer approach to the removal of night feeds. I will never ask a parent to remove feeds, if the baby is not completely ready to do so. If the baby is fed (milk and / or solids) according to the personal plan provided to the parents, the baby will never be hungry day or night. If your baby’s weight is fine, and the doctor has no concerns about her health, chances are she will not miss the night feeds if they are removed in the correct way.

If your baby is fed at night right now and is reliant on sucking back to sleep, holding back to sleep, rocking back to sleep, that is an additional prop that the baby “needs” in order to return to sleep. My training methods teach the baby to get back to sleep without the need to be fed, rocked or held. During that time, yes, the baby can be fed and with my guidance, will get past the need to feed in the night very quickly, often in 1 or 2 nights. This process can be as gradual (or not) as needed, given your family circumstances.

Sleep training does not mean you have to stop breastfeeding
This is a very common misconception. Parents often ask me, “does this mean I have to stop breastfeeding?”. I would NEVER suggest that! Breastfeeding is such an important part of your experience as a mom, and I would never ask you to stop. You should breastfeed for as long as you wish and that is NOT my call! It’s entirely your decision and I am a HUGE advocate of it!

Will I be asked to ignore my child crying?
NEVER, EVER, NO!!! The program will never ask you to ignore your child. Yes you will be able to touch your child! Yes you will be able to cuddle your child! Yes you can be there with your child! The list goes on. There will be ample opportunity to hold, comfort, reassure and support your child as you go through the sleep training process. I would NEVER ask you to leave your child to cry and scream for hours! I am always surprised at how many clients ask if they will be asked to close the door at 7pm and not go back until 7am. That must NEVER happen – not on my watch! There are sleep consultants working today who will ask you to do that. I want to be clear – I AM NOT ONE OF THEM!!!! You will never be asked to do that. Fantastic results can be achieved without having to resort to extreme measures.

We will discuss your comfort levels and I am respectful of what you wish to do, or not do, during training. I will also offer information and education on what you wish to do, in order to ensure it is the best course of action to help you achieve your goals. After all, there is no point in entering into sleep training, if changes are not going to be made. Change is hard for babies and children but the discomfort is very temporary.

Sleep training does not guarantee your baby will pass out and go comatose all night long!
Some parents think that once they have done sleep training, their baby will simply go to sleep at 7pm and never wake up again until 7 the next morning! Unfortunately this is not the case. Human beings sleep in sleep cycles and wake during the night for various reasons and varying amounts of time. What “is” important, is that when the child has said awakenings, she can help herself back to sleep independently, rather than needing help or intervention from the adults in the home. Sure, there will be times when the baby requires help such as during teething, or illness etc, but for the most part, the majority of the time, she should be doing it herself. If your baby is currently using sleep props or sleep associations, she won’t be able to return herself to sleep easily. Remember – if the baby is doing it herself, it will prevent a ton of unnecessary crying and stress for the entire family! Teaching her to do it herself will be a great gift for your family!

Lack of sleep can pose all sorts of family problems!
The long term positive effects from sleep training your child, outweigh the very brief period of discomfort. Sometimes parents tell me they have tried their own version of sleep training for months and “It’s not working”! Having guidance and support from engaging my expertise, means you will know exactly how to proceed, and how to respond, in every way, day or night!

Lack of sleep can negatively impact a family (child or adult) in the following ways:

  • Baby or child unable to focus on the most basic tasks
  • Cranky and groggy particularly in the afternoon
  • Extra fussy behaviour
  • May become extremely “sensitive” or “fragile” emotionally (eg, cry readily and be inconsolable multiple times in every 24 hour period)
  • May seem very energized and hyperactive (usually just when you are trying to get them to sleep!)
  • Baby or child seems to resist sleep vigorously when finally put to bed
  • Negatively impacts a nursing mom’s milk production
  • Some studies show a child’s IQ can be affected
  • Outings are not enjoyable due to the child’s inability to cope / overtired
  • Parents are unable to go out for “date nights” due to the stressful evenings trying to get baby or child down for sleep
  • If parents have gone back to work, they are unable to get their nightly rest due to broken sleep.
  • High level of frustration for each parent / constant broken sleep wears you down the longer it goes on.

I hope this answers some of the possible questions you have about embarking on my sleep training programs!